About me

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Barney stinson from 'How I Met Your Mother'
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Go home!
Nothing good ever happens after 2 a.m.

"Dear female, thank you for your interest in Barney Stinson..."

COUGAR
A cougar is an attractive, sex-crazed, middle-aged woman, usually found prowling airport bars and smoky pool halls in search of nubile flesh. Look around you — most likely there's one training her eyes on you right now. She's a predator… a vicious carnivore looking to feed before continuing on her ferocious way, and that's the most beautiful part of the majestic cougar: her unflagging desire to move on after a mauling. Clearly, this is an advanced species.

CRAZY EYES
A symptom visible in women—only by men—in which the peculiar appearance of the eyes serve as a precursor to serious, erratic behavior.

PHONE FIVE
Exchanging a high five via the phone.

SLAP BET
A bet between two parties in which the winner gets to slap the loser. In the event that a slap is administered in error, the slapee shall receive a specified number of extra slaps, as deemed by a pre-appointed third party. ("Slap Bet Commissioner"

SUIT UP
To put on a suit.